S5EP3: Something Dark

Okay, this is the worst. Who doesn’t absolutely fear for Sansa right now? While GoT is often throwing its characters into dire situations, having Sansa bethrothed to (another) psychopath is too much! Ramsay Bolton may look like an extra from The Hobbit but he’s far worse than even Joffrey. At least Joffrey was semi-reined in by the adults around him; Ramsay is instead pretty much given free rein from his father to do whatever he wants. Our poor Sansa is in for a dark time, and I’m already cringing at whatever scenes she and Ramsay will share together.

The good news is that, well, there is no good news actually. We’re already almost a quarter of the way through the season and it looks like all the pieces are still setting up, with only seven more episodes to burn through. I’m already worried that Season Five will end with major cliffhangers and we’re gonna get no resolutions for any of these new plot lines. I mean, when does the monster army from the North enter the picture? Where are the worgs and giants!

Also, who else is bored with Arya’s time in the House of Black and White? If she’s just gonna sit there and endure Mr. Miyagi-esque training methods, I’d rather they just hurry it along. Also, hello, where are the Sand Snakes?!

Who would have guessed that after three weeks in, our #3 overall scorer would be Janos Slynt! I mean, how many insults can a scaredy-cat baldie throw out anyway — before his head got lopped off. Well, during EP3, Slynt led the way with +35 points while we had a pretty quiet week on the scoring front.

Margaery Tyrell finally got on the board with some (wonderful) insults, and it looks like Tyrion won’t totally slack off on his drinking ways. We also have to give a shout out to Margaery and Tommen’s post-wedding work in the bedroom. Now that Tommen has become a man, will we see more scoring from the current Throne-sitter? We doubt Tommen’s capable of insulting anyone, but could a kill or an injury be part of his fifth season arc? Also, did Joffrey die a virgin? Can someone answer that?

S5EP2: Black or White

Already, in this early season, GoT has given us some dream pairings. The reunion of Jaqen H'ghar and Arya Stark. Varys and his drunken cargo, heading toward an epic meeting with the Mother of Teenage Rebellion Dragons. And let's not overlook Jon Snow and his Lady Red Part II. What is going on there? We know Melisandre isn't against using her feminine wiles to get what she wants and it looks like she's got Lord Commander Snow right in her sights.

Best of all there's Jaime and Bronn. We figured the deadly sellsword would be shipped off to the sidelines but it looks like he and Jaime will instead become the wittiest one-two punch in Westeros. We're really curious if/when Jaime will be able to fight again, but with Bronn at his side, there's a little less rush to get him back into action. Bronn, the Lannister brothers' BFF!

Who else would you like to see team up for a common cause? For me, it would be incredible to have Cersei and Margaery somehow united toward a singular goal. While they look like archvillains now, there's always a chance that GoT flings them together into a mother and daughter-in-law alliance. Stranger things have happened...

Let’s take a look at the EP2 scoring! Brienne led the way with a ton of points for her many kills and injury. (I don't understand why Brienne's instinct was to fight her way out of there, instead of just sticking around to prove her loyalty.) Ms. Fight and Flight racked up 35 points for her efforts. And in a nice twist from EP1, seven other players did major scoring themselves.

Cersei, Ellaria Sand, and even sweet Samwell Tarly all got in their insults and scored 28 points each. Janos Slynt, Kevan Lannister, and Petyr Baelish got in a few jabs of their own for 21 apiece. In fact, most of the scoring this week was from insults. That's fun right? While we’re all into the literal killings GoT provides, the verbal eviscerations are another major reason each episode is so enjoyable.

And how about Daario Naharis, who has been doing some fun things during his first two episodes. This week he was the fifth leading scorer with 27 points: +14 from insults, +4 from (an awesome wall stab) injury, and +9 from his head chop for Dany’s commitment to justice. Daario is in the early lead for Most Improved Player.

Coming up at the tail end of scoring are the drinkers: Jon Snow, Podrick Payne, and Tyrion Lannister, who surprised us all with only one cup imbibed. What happens in EP3? Does Drogon return?!

S5EP1: Cups in the Air, Everybody!

A little late but sometimes life gets in the way of Thrones right? WRONG! Life should revolve around Thrones and now the biggest question for all fans is: Should I download the leaked episodes? The quick answer is “of course” but after that knee jerk reaction, the correct answer is “no, wait for the real episodes to come out.” After all, half the fun of GoT fandom is experiencing the episodes alongside your fellow obsessives, and jumping ahead would take away from the experience. Agree, disagree?

[Spoilers Ahead]

Let’s talk about S5EP1. There’s amazing recaps everywhere — I can’t recommend the Grantland GoT articles/podcasts enough — so let’s just dive into the episode from a fantasy perspective. Right from the start we have our first scoring controversy. As the rules state(d), "Drinking (DRK):+ 6 points for every scene their character is seen drinking.” However, that was meant to be interpreted as accumulating points per drink/sip.

No fantasy league is complete without a few rules debates and interpretations, and it’s always a process to clean up the wordage and set the record straight. At the end of the day, we acquiese to our commissioner and allow him to set the rules. So moving forward the rule is: "Drinking: +6 for drinking (per cup) unless you are Ser Dontos.” Drunks about to score some major points!

With that tweak in mind, Cersei and Tyrion racked up the DRK points for their two and three cups imbibed, respectively. But that wasn’t all they scored, as both characters were quick with the tongue as well, with Cersei racking up an incredible seven insults for +42 points. So yeah, if you drafted either Cersei or Tyrion, you’re swimming in points and likely leading your league. But don't celebrate too much, as we all know GoT championships aren't won in week one.

As for the rest of the cast, insults paid off big as Brienne and Lord Varys also got their fair share of verbal potshots in. Heck, even kindly Daenerys threw an insult of her own — although she didn’t accrue any points for her off-screen sexing. That's another rule tweak, as the scoring for sex is now: +8 points for getting down," with the "shown or implied, judged by the scorekeeper" appendage now removed for clarity's sake. A character has to be having sex on-screen to receive SEX points.

And let's give a big hand to Daario and Loras for both baring their backsides and balancing out the female nudity that is sure to come in later episodes. We like that the GoT directors are making an effort to please all genders with gratuitous nudity for everyone.

So, what to look for in EP2? Well, we’re pretty sure Arya is going to make her first appearance as she was M.I.A. during the first episode, and we’re curious if Tyrion will curb the drinking now that he’s been made aware of the real reason Varys saved him. After all, a drunken dwarf will never be the savior of the Seven Kingdoms, right?

Last thing, R.I.P. Mance Rayder, who went out in horrible fashion, and I hope you didn’t listen to my draft advice and roll the dice by drafting Mance early due to his purported dark horse status. As usual, don’t listen to me… my name is Jon and I know nothing! Trivia: Ciaran Hinds, aka Mance, played Aberforth Dumbledore, Albus' younger brother, in the last Harry Potter movie. Did everyone else know that already? What?!

S5: Who to Draft?

Last year, the top players in GoT fantasy were the killers. All the sexing, insulting, and drinking couldn’t get you more than a handful of points. But oh that sweet sweet killing! The top five scorers for Season Four were: Tormund Giantsbane, Ygritte, Jon Snow, The Hound, and Styr. By a wide margin. So even though the point balance has been spread out a little bit, at the end of the day, killing and injurying someone is still the best route to fantasy success. Does it skew who’s actually good in fantasy GoT? Of course it does.

If you go over last season’s archives, you’ll see that a majority of points were awarded during the big battle scenes. Therefore, this season, the key is to grab players who will be in fighting scenes and slice and dice their way across the screen.

Basically that means some of the more popular characters, the ones that will appear on-screen the most, are nigh useless. But who should go #1 for Season 5? Well, the clear answer is our man in the North, Jon Snow. He was drafted #1 overall in our league last season and I see no reason he shouldn’t go #1 in everyone’s league. Jon is a five (six) tool GoT fantasy player and he’s guaranteed to be in lots of swordfights. After that though, it’s a toss up. I mean, three-fourths of the top five from last year — Ygritte, The Hound, Styr — are dead or presumed dead, so that elevates Mr. Snow to the top by default, unless you think Tormund Giantsbane can repeat his huge scores from last season.

With a player roster full of new names, and a changing landscape in Westeros and Essos, we’re gonna take a few guesses at which players could likely end up the season as top scorers. And look at some dark horses and overrated players.

Arya Stark: She finished last season at #6 (albeit with scores far below Styr) and since she’s about to become a full fledged killer, that ranking can only go up. We wouldn’t argue with making Arya a top pick for Season 5 drafts.

Daario Naharis: Daario II is going to play a bigger role this year and since he complained about having nothing to do last season, it’s likely he’ll get a few more battle scenes in Season 5. Plus, he’s guaranteed at least a few nudity and sexing points since he’s Khaleesi’s new boy toy.

Tormund Giantsbane: He was our number one overall scorer last season on the strength of basically two episodes so it’s possible he’ll finish up high again. Of course, it’s also possible he’ll get killed in a battle right away, so draft him at your peril.

SLEEPERS
Stannis Baratheon: Here we go, maybe the most likely candidate to win “Most Improved Player.” Stannis is finally in a position to do some fighting and even if he is a Type-A bore, he’s going to get much more to do this season. Assuming Stannis is involved in at least one big battle, he should easily outpace last year’s paltry point total. Similar to: Mance Rayder. Both leaders tend to stand around planning a lot but not doing much of anything, can that change this season?

Sand Snakes: There’s three of these dangerous ladies being introduced to us this season: Tyene, Nymeria, and Obara. Surely the Red Viper's bastards will get to avenge their father in some way right? Also, keep an eye on Ellaria Sand as she could definitely find her way into some drinking and sexing points.

Missandei and Grey Worm: We don’t care if they score a lot, we just ‘ship them and it looks like we’ll get our dream come true this season. Give them all the points! Can Missandei tutor us in Westerosi? Give a hand for Nathalie Emmanuel’s star turn in Fast & Furious 7 as the most beautiful hacker ever! (Also, Kenneth Branagh’s Cinderella featured Robb Stark / Richard Madden as the prince, plus Xaro Xhoan Daxos / Nonso Anozie as his captain of the guards! Who else did sharp eyed GoT fans see in the movies recently? Oh, and Sophie Turner is going to be Jean Grey in the next X-Men!?! What!)

YOU DECIDE
Cersei and Tyrion Lannister: It's a shame more points won't be awarded for screen time or political manipulation. Instead, these two siblings will have to count on copious amounts of verbal daggers and drinking to pump up their value. While neither are likely to kill -- even though Tyrion gets a few low blows in per season -- both get so much screen time that they're guaranteed to rank as some of the higher scoring players. Just beware that their fantasy ceiling is limited by how little they actually do.

Petyr Baelish: He's potentially a five tool player but won't do enough of any one thing to outperform most of the battle heavy no-names. Still, Little Finger is a safe selection just to get some points on the board.

STAY AWAYS
Daenerys Targaryen: While’s she’s a central figure in the show, Dany’s dragons don’t count for kills or injuries and she’s not going to do a whole lot else. Maybe a few drinking scenes, a few (body doubled) nudity scenes, and one or two sex scenes. Let the Mother of Dragons fall in your draft, she’s not going to score much for you. Keep Khaleesi in your hearts but off your roster...

Jaime Lannister: Last season he got two instances of sexing and one of drinking for a grand total of eleven points. Bran Stark, Petyr Baelish, and Samwell Tarly each got more kill points than the Kingslayer. This season, Jaime will be traveling to Dorne to retrieve his daughter and maybe he’ll get into some verbal spats but since he’s useless with a sword now, it’s unlikely he’ll be getting any killing or injury points. At least his pride has somewhat returned now that he has a golden hand.

Varys: Ha, you must be kidding right? Varys is the "most screen time, least scoring main character,” unless you count Margaery Tyrell. While both Varys and Margaery have many gifts, none of them include fantasy GoT scoring.

SLEEPERS
Anybody with a sword basically. I’m talking to you Thoros of Myr, Yara Greyjoy, Brienne of Tarth, Davos Seaworth, Bronn, Beric Dondarrion, Barristan Selmy, etc. Basically, don’t draft Doran Martell, Oberyn’s brother, who we hear is chairbound from, um, gout?

Season 5 is Here!

Well, here it is! After months of waiting and teasers and having all your friends (but you) go to the Season 5 premiere in San Francisco, GoT is finally back in our lives. The excitement of starting a second year of fantasy GoT is almost as good as standing six feet away from the entire cast. Almost... But don't let my bitterness over missing a once-in-a-lifetime event bring you down. It's Season Five, here we go!

The S5 rules have been modified a bit from last year but remain similar. Mostly, scoring categories have been adjusted, with the a new category being added: nudity. Also, there are now no negative points (last year there was negatives for getting injured or being insulted). Once again, thanks to Daniel of Fantasizr and Ryan for scorekeeping and coming up with the whole idea for Game of Thrones fantasy!

• Killing (KIL): +9 points for killing someone.
• Sex (SEX): +8 points for getting down. Shown or implied, judged by the scorekeeper.
• Nudity (NUD): +8 points for male or female nudity, including butts.
• Insult (IST): +7 points for every good insult.
• Drinking (DRK):+ 6 points for every scene their character is seen drinking.
• Injury (INJ): +4 points for every injury inflicted (non-kill).

If you want to take a look at our inaugural fantasy season stats in review, here they are: Season 4 Review.

S5 Rules

What Is This?
Fantasy football plus Game of Thrones, run by Fantasizr

How Do You Score?
Each player on your team accrues points in each of the six categories for actions performed on-screen. Points are awarded for each episode. See below for details. [Note: Last year's scoring was slightly different.]

• Killing (KIL): +9 points for killing someone.
• Sex (SEX): +8 points for getting down. Shown or implied, judged by the scorekeeper.
• Nudity (NUD): +8 points for male or female nudity, including butts.
• Insult (IST): +7 points for every good insult.
• Drinking (DRK): 6 for drinking (per cup) unless you are Ser Dontos. +6 points for every scene their character is seen drinking.
• Injury (INJ): +4 points for every injury inflicted (non-kill).

Which Characters Are Eligible?
Click on “players” tab in Fantasizr to see who is eligible to be drafted. There are almost 100+ players in total.

How Does the Draft Work?
It will be a snake style draft, meaning if there are ten teams in your league, the first round will be picks #1-10, and then reverse to #10-1 for round two. Round three starts at #1-10 again and so on.

How Do You Win?
Depending on if you are playing cumulative or head-to-head (H2H), whoever scores the most points after the ten episode run wins.

What's the Prize?
You get to lord it over all your friends. Duh.

Is There a Facebook Group That I Can Join?
Of course there is! Right here!