0) The Iron Bank
We start here, even though the Iron Bank is not a house, nor in Westeros. But we have to highlight their existence as the richest anything in the GoT universe. As proof, the Iron Bank makes even entire kingdoms supplicants and probably charges at least 20% interest just to stick it to them too. Also, unlike other mega-rich entities, they don’t really need to pay an army for collections because their M.O. is to just fund the other side if someone doesn’t pay up. Mark Gatiss is a genius.
1) House Tyrell
Mace Tyrell may be an idiot but he’s a rich idiot. Already the Lord of Highgarden, Mace kind of owns King’s Landing too, as he’s underwriting most of their bills, has his daughter on the throne/dungeon, and continues having bountiful harvest after bountiful harvest in The Reach. Also, Mace is now Master of Ships
and Master of Coin, which we can only assume are high paying positions. Actually, are members of the Small Council paid? Probably not...
2) House Martell
All those water gardens don’t just water themselves do they? From what I can tell, Dorne is like Palm Springs and despite a very dry climate, their landscaping is impressive. My entire basis for giving House Martell such a high ranking is that their wine is said to be the best in the land, and look at how much wine everyone in Game of Thrones drinks.
And let's not forget that Dorne was unconquerable by outside forces, even against Aegon's dragons, so they've been able to steadily fill their coffers. The downside for this Southern power is that there don’t seem to be any Martells left, with only Ellaria Sand and her collection of Oscar winning Sand Snakes to rule. And it looks like Ellaria is about to blow big money on an all out war against the Lannisters...
3) House Targaryen
This one’s tricky… Exactly how much is Dany worth? She’s the ex-wife of a khal, and I assume she gets some of the treasure that Khal Drogo must have storage unit-ed at Vaes Dothrak. I mean, it’s not like her khalasar is alive to claim any of it. (“Hey Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, where are all the Dothraki who went off with you? They’re all dead?!?” That would have been my first question to her upon her arrival at Dothraki-Con.)
Dany's also the ruler of Meereen, which used to be a flourishing city-state. Well, maybe not now that there’s no slave labor to reinforce the economy. In fact, Dany is like the anti-King Midas, as everything she touches tends to turn to economic shit. But she’s got three dragons, which are near priceless, and Ser Jorah’s unrelenting unrequited love, which is the most precious gift of all. Plus Dany’s also Hizdahr zo Loraq’s widow, which means she should get all of his noble money too. House Targaryen's rich!
4) House Bolton
What the Boltons lack in sincerity they make up for in upward mobility. And now it’s all Ramsay’s. Without a father, or an upstart brother to deal with, the sickest Bolton not only has the Dreadfort but also Winterfell, and with the Starks out of the way — or technically his by marriage — the former second most powerful house in the North is now the most powerful.
Ramsay’s titles are starting to get more and more impressive too: Lord of the Dreadfort, Lord Paramount of the North, Warden of the North, Lord of Winterfell, Kinslayer. Maybe the misdirect in GoT is that it’s the
other Snow that’s really a Targaryen. R+L=R? Ramsay sure seems to have an affinity for canines doesn't he? And there's no question he could be a descendent of the Mad King...
5) House Frey
Walder Frey is Lord of the Riverlands and anyone looking to get past the Crossing has to pay him a toll. That’s a lot of cash FasTraking through every year, and while the Freys are basically detested for their new money -- not to mention their recent backstabbing -- they’ve managed to become very powerful in a short time. And let’s not forget Robb said that the Freys had a huge army, which he desperately needed to attack the South. Sigh, remember those good old days when
the Young Wolf was undefeated in battle?
6) Petyr Baelish
There is no House Baelish but isn't Petry Baelish basically a house unto himself? Little Finger is now Lord Protector of the Vale, Lord of Harrenhal, and definitely embezzled while on the job as Master of Coin. Plus, let’s not forget that he probably owns a chain of franchised brothels all across Westeros. And even though those annoying Sparrows might be bad for business right now, we all know that sex always sells. The man just smells like money, and probably heavy cologne. Sidenote: I'd love to know where Baelish keeps his money. Offshore, probably.
7) House Arryn
It seems like House Arryn would be pretty wealthy, but as enclosed as they are in The Eyrie, I don’t think they’re exactly rolling in dough. What exactly are they making money on all the way up there? Plus, look at the haircuts and clothing on Lysa and Robin. They dressed like shit and that has to say something about how House Arryn can’t even afford decent Internet to comb through Pinterest and Tumblr.
8) House Greyjoy
Speaking of people who dress like shit, the Ironborn could really use a makeover. For their entire kingdom. Crappy castles, dingy boats, the Ironborn don’t exactly look like a Great House of Westeros. And it's not like there's a lot of tourism coming to those cloudy, rocky little islands. Plus, "We Do Not Sow" means they aren't exactly producing anything either. In theory the Ironborn are great traders and raid and pillage towns, but we’re pretty sure there’s not much profit in that. The British used their Royal Navy to colonize half the world, the Greyjoys seem to just keep rowing towards defeat.
"The Greyjoys’ extreme commitment to the shabby-chic look is nevertheless bound to be its own special kind of aesthetic torture."
-Bennett Madison's EP4 recap-
9) House Lannister
These dudes had it so good. Well, not really. Tywin informed us that all the gold mines in Casterly Rock have been empty for years, plus their Lannister savings probably went to prop up the throne's failing finances and we know that the crown owes money to just about everybody. And technically the Lannisters don’t even run the town, as Tommen is publicly known as a Baratheon.
Even if the Lannisters did own the crown’s assets, it’s not like tax money is rolling in during wartime (Oh yeah, wars are expensive!) So explain to me exactly how House Lannister still has money? The answer is that they probably don’t, as they’re over-leveraged, low on assets, and will likely have to declare bankruptcy soon. That gold lion on their banner is about to be sold off for scrap metal.
...75) House Stark
Hilarious. Bran’s in a tree, Rickon’s about to suffer god-knows-what, Arya is on an endless Mobius strip of a lame plotline, Jon isn’t a Stark, and Sansa had her birthright forcibly taken away. Very forcibly. But maybe the Starks can recover as they are still the people's choice as House of the North. Or wait, are they? Frey, Bolton, Karstark, the list of families defecting against them just keeps growing...
76) House Baratheon
There are no Baratheons left. And we know Gendry ain’t coming back to reclaim his father’s throne -- since he's a bastard, and probably drowned at sea due to an inability to row or swim. Once Tommen gets exposed as a Lannister, or puts on that supple gold cloak of death, the Baratheons will truly be no more. Sidenote: Who owns Storm’s End now that Stannis is gone?
80) House Tarth
There are no rubies in Tarth. Sorry Locke, Jaime lied. But at least House Tarth now owns a Valyrian steel sword!
99) House Hollard
Ser Dontos was ignominiously made King Joffrey's fool and then it turned out that his family's last heirloom wasn't even real, but a cheap fake! Also, Ser Dontos, last surviving member of House Hollard, is dead. No spoilers.
