Who would have guessed that the top scorer for the season would be Grey Worm! He didn’t get naked, he didn’t insult anyone, and apparently the Unsullied don’t drink, but boy did owners of Mr. Missandei get their money’s worth of points from EP4, aka the one where Grey Worm killed everyone and then almost got killed himself. All of Grey Worm’s league leading 176 points was accrued in EP4 and that was enough to push him ahead of Tyrion Lannister for S5 MVP.Here were this season’s top five: Grey Worm (176 pts), Tyrion Lannister (172), Jorah Mormont (169), Ramsay Bolton (139), and Daario Naharis (137). In addition, Nymeria Sand, Cersei Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen, and Barristan Selmy also managed to get into triple digits. The most surprising name on the top ten? Olenna Tyrell, who came in at #10 on the strength of a blistering stream of insults, mostly from EP7.
Jaime Lannister makes his case for LVP once again, as he only scored 31 points tota -- for one kill, three drinks, and an injury. Or maybe “LVP” is really just “major character/screentime with the least number of points.” At least Dany redeemed her horrific S4 by putting in work with her insults for S5. Pro tip: Don’t draft the Kingslayer next season...
Last year there was 850+ points accrued for the season. For S5, with expanded rosters and new scoring rules, the total points doled out was 2515! Let’s look at the breakdown.
- Insult (IST, +7): 1099 pts
- Injury (INJ, +4): 556 pts
- Killing (KIL, +9): 522 pts
- Drinking (DRK, +6): 234 pts
- Sex/Nudity (SEX, +8): 104 pts
Of the 72 character roster, 26 of them didn’t even get on the board. Of the 46 characters who actually scored, the average score was 54.7 points, and while that represents nine characters who scored in triple digits, an impressive half the characters got above that 54.7 point mark. Not bad. I would guess that made the fantasy season very exciting as there were a bunch of players who put in big points, unlike last season where having anyone in the top five or so probably guaranteed you a place in the top tier. Let's look at the individual categories...
Insult: 1099 points (43.7%)Last year I said "Next year we’re gonna have to figure out how to translate great lines/insults into points.” With IST points accounting for 43.7% of S5’s total scoring, I think the goal has been accomplished! Sure, KIL and INJ points were split into two categories this season, but IST still outpaced them combined! For this season at least, words were sharper than swords.
And those with the sharpest tongues? Daenerys, Olenna Tyrell, Cersei Lannister, Ramsay Bolton, and Tyrion Lannister. Pretty much exactly who you’d expect, with maybe a surprise #1 showing by Dany. Insult points were a powerhouse this season and helped pushed all of the GoT Mean Girls into top five territory.
Injury: 556 points (22.1%)
There were a lot of intense battles this season but MVP for the category goes to Jorah Mormont, who really picked up steam in the last few episodes, wrecking his way through Stone Men, gladiators, and Sons of the Harpy. Nymeria Sand tied with Jorah with 84 INJ points, which was a bit of a surprise as none of the Sand Snakes did that much damange — on-screen or in the hearts of fans. But then I remembered that her slapfest with Tyene gave her an outrageous INJ point total.
The rest of the high INJ scorers pretty much broke down as expected, with fighters like Grey Worm, Tormund Giantsbane, Arya Stark, Barristan Selmy, and Daario Naharis leading the way. Tyrion Lannister was the one surprise, as he managed to rank #4 in this category, probably based on the strength of his chain beatdown in EP7. And Daario had the nerve to question his worth in battle!
What’s more shocking, that Ramsay Bolton only scored one instance of INJ, or that he tied with that vicious cold blooded killer Olly? There's no way Olly doesn't turn into Ramsay Jr. right?
Killing: 522 points (20.8%)
Moving onto the KIL category, we’ve already covered Grey Worm’s exploits. Same with Barristan Selmy, who managed to kill enough Harpy Sons to rank #2 in kills before bowing out of the show himself. Jorah, Daario, and Brienne round out the rest of the top killers and I would love to see a tournament among those names to see who’s the best fighter in the land.
With Jaime Lannister forcibly vacated from the throne of “best fighter in Westeros,” who would win in a Grey Worm, Ser Barristan, Jorah, Daario, and Brienne Royal Rumble? For an undercard, we can have Jon Snow and Bronn thrown into the mix too, as they were the #6 and #8 scorers in this category. Oh heck, let’s just throw in Tormund too. His skull cracking was mighty impressive!
I’d put my money on Brienne actually, as the winner. I mean, Barristan Selmy and Jorah are a bit over the hill, Grey Worm seems to only be useful in specific situations, and Daario, Bronn, and Tormund seem to all eschew proper armor. Plus Brienne is the only one with a Valyrian blade. So yeah, my money is on Brienne.
And then the winner of the GoT Royal Rumble gets to fight the undead: Oberyn Martell or Mecha-Mountain or The Hound!? I would pony up for a PPV for this right? Warriiiiiiors, come out and plaaaaaay!
Drinking: 234 points (9.3%)In a shock to no one, Tyrion is the league leader in this category. In fact, Tyrion, Cersei, and Jaime are all high scorers in drinking, proving that the Lannisters value a nice glass of red above all else — even each other.
Only Ramsay Bolton, sadist and apparent alcoholic, manages to break up the Lannister lush party. If these four got wild and drunk, who would get the most belligerent? Or the most verbally abusive? (Wait, how did Jaime not get one insult point all season?! He’s useless…)
Sex/Nudity: 104 points (4.2%)
Ramsay Bolton, take a bow! Cersei made a late charge for the sex/nudity lead with her agonizing walk but Ramsay had this low scoring category sewn up with his three sex scenes. And while Tyene Sand had the most memorable nude scene this season, even the most beautiful woman in the world received only eight points for nudity.
Alright, that's it for S5, and let's bunker down for the looooong break until S6 arrives. The big question looming over everything is if Jon Snow is actually dead, but for fantasy purposes Jon Snow lost some of his luster this season as he fell out of the top scorers. It's clear that the key to victory in fantasy GoT is to grab the lesser names. S4 featured Tormund as the MVP, S5 had Grey Worm...will S6 give us a random Dothraki warrior to lead the way? Or will a dragon finally be draftable?! "I take Drogon, I take Drogon with my S6 #1 pick!" Imagine the nudity points...
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